When a man finds a woman he likes, it can take all of 5 seconds for him to fall in love with her – even before she opens her mouth. Our brains are still hardwired with the “hunt-and-kill” mentality from our caveman days, which results in us assessing our female “prey” rather quickly into the “rejection” or “acceptance” categories.
So what do most men do? They see a girl they like, rush over to her, and start talking. And talking. And talking some more.
And what do they do? They spill their guts. They try to tell her every single thing he can about himself so she’ll be able to make a decision about dating him right on the spot.
Then, assuming he gets the number, he waits all of 2 seconds before he text or calls her. He asks her out for a date the very next day. Once he’s made plans for the date, he continues to talk to her, thinking it will build up her interest even more.
Once on the date, he tries to stretch out the date for as many hours as he can. 5, 6, 7 hours or more – the longer the date, the quicker they’ll get to know each other and the faster she’ll want to be his girlfriend! (And, if he’s REALLY wanting to rush things along, he’ll ask her for dates 2 through 4 right there on the spot!)
Or so he thinks…
What usually ends up happening instead? The girl either stops answering her phone, or cancels the date. If she decides to go on the date, she starts to appear disinterested, or may get a sudden “emergency” phone call prompting her to get out of there.
And if the guy notices these things starting to happen, what does he do? He thinks to himself, “Hmm, she looks like she’s losing interest… probably because she doesn’t know I like her!” Then, he spills his guts to her about all the feelings he has for her, and how he could see himself marrying her someday.
Sadly, it’s the last contact the guy will ever have with his “perfect” woman…
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So why does this happen time and time again? Because you guys are going WAAAAY TOOOOO FAAAAAAST.
Women are not like men. Women need time to assess things a bit more than men do.
Yes, it’s true that a woman can decide within 10 seconds of meeting a guy if she’d sleep with him… BUT, that’s not the only thing women are thinking about when they see you. They have other things they have to think about to, like:
These various assessments aren’t just made in a split second; they take TIME.
Furthermore, let’s say a girl likes you and wants to go out with you. You don’t have to give away the whole store (i.e. your life story) in one sitting. Women like finding out things about you. In fact, part of the fun for them in dating is NOT knowing something about you and prying it out of you. It’s like they’re playing detective, and – if they like you – they WANT to play that game with you.
However, they won’t be able to if you’re trying to give up all the goods within the first 2 or 3 dates!
Spread yourself out, man! Be patient about everything you do when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. You don’t need to tell her how much you like her right away; instead, let her sniff it out of you. You also don’t need to call her all the time – let her wonder what it is you do when she’s not around you. It’ll drive her crazy, but it will also keep her interested in you.
That’s all for today – I’m sure this subject will be revisited on this blog, but this post should get you to start viewing the importance of patience when dealing with women
- Harry Wilmington
So what do most men do? They see a girl they like, rush over to her, and start talking. And talking. And talking some more.
And what do they do? They spill their guts. They try to tell her every single thing he can about himself so she’ll be able to make a decision about dating him right on the spot.
Then, assuming he gets the number, he waits all of 2 seconds before he text or calls her. He asks her out for a date the very next day. Once he’s made plans for the date, he continues to talk to her, thinking it will build up her interest even more.
Once on the date, he tries to stretch out the date for as many hours as he can. 5, 6, 7 hours or more – the longer the date, the quicker they’ll get to know each other and the faster she’ll want to be his girlfriend! (And, if he’s REALLY wanting to rush things along, he’ll ask her for dates 2 through 4 right there on the spot!)
Or so he thinks…
What usually ends up happening instead? The girl either stops answering her phone, or cancels the date. If she decides to go on the date, she starts to appear disinterested, or may get a sudden “emergency” phone call prompting her to get out of there.
And if the guy notices these things starting to happen, what does he do? He thinks to himself, “Hmm, she looks like she’s losing interest… probably because she doesn’t know I like her!” Then, he spills his guts to her about all the feelings he has for her, and how he could see himself marrying her someday.
Sadly, it’s the last contact the guy will ever have with his “perfect” woman…
--
So why does this happen time and time again? Because you guys are going WAAAAY TOOOOO FAAAAAAST.
Women are not like men. Women need time to assess things a bit more than men do.
Yes, it’s true that a woman can decide within 10 seconds of meeting a guy if she’d sleep with him… BUT, that’s not the only thing women are thinking about when they see you. They have other things they have to think about to, like:
- Would he be a good provider?
- Is he a loyal guy or a player?
- Would my family/friends approve?
- Is he an abuser?
These various assessments aren’t just made in a split second; they take TIME.
Furthermore, let’s say a girl likes you and wants to go out with you. You don’t have to give away the whole store (i.e. your life story) in one sitting. Women like finding out things about you. In fact, part of the fun for them in dating is NOT knowing something about you and prying it out of you. It’s like they’re playing detective, and – if they like you – they WANT to play that game with you.
However, they won’t be able to if you’re trying to give up all the goods within the first 2 or 3 dates!
Spread yourself out, man! Be patient about everything you do when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. You don’t need to tell her how much you like her right away; instead, let her sniff it out of you. You also don’t need to call her all the time – let her wonder what it is you do when she’s not around you. It’ll drive her crazy, but it will also keep her interested in you.
That’s all for today – I’m sure this subject will be revisited on this blog, but this post should get you to start viewing the importance of patience when dealing with women
- Harry Wilmington
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